Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

 

When I started college my friends and I went to different parties around the Cleveland, Ohio area. It is there where I met my first “boyfriend" who happened to be a Jamaican man 16 years older than me. Of course, my family did not approve me dating someone outside my race or someone with such a big age difference. We stay together for over 10 years though. While we were dating his friends always said” well that's what white women do, or that’s what a white person would say.” I didn’t know any better. Coming from a small town where everyone was wait, I figured this is how people talk to each other They always made it a point to make sure I was in my place, and I knew I wasn’t Jamaican like them. So micro aggression was happening to me, and I didn't even realize. But I, being a 21 year old from a small all white community, did not realize I was doing the same thing two others while at my new job. I was saying the same kind of comments to the African American coworkers I had. Well, that's something that black people do, is what I would say all the time until my coworkers confronted me and told me that was the wrong way to speak to each other. I was so embarrassed but that's all I knew. I did not know much about the world because I was sheltered in a small community. I was racist and I had no idea. I felt out of place and very uncomfortable when my Jamaican boyfriend’s friends where to talk to me in such a manner. Now because what I have learned from them, I was also using microaggression on my coworkers and making them feel belittled. I'm glad they felt comfortable to confront me tell me what I was doing was wrong. I did not have money street smarts. I had education but not streets smarts or a multicultural growth view.

Through learning about micro aggression this week, I see that I was affected by discrimination and prejudice and put in a stereotype position while dating my Jamaican boyfriend. But for those 10 years I also discriminated, torrents others of different races and I did and was prejudice put people into stereotypes because of what I have learned during my first communication with others of a different race. You live and learn. And shame on me for doing what I have done in the past. But I know better now, and I try to never make anyone feel discriminated against or feel like I am putting them into a stereotype.

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